Introducing Fleet Street 2007-2008!

Tops Julian Kusnadi Stephen Hayes (Business Manager) Mattias Lanas Todd Yecies Adam Cole	Baritones Linden Melvin Chris Kucharczyk Avery Halfon (Punt...shhh!) Sam Julian
Leads Alex Brown Jacob Boehm Alex Nourishad (Director) Scott Seki (Webpenguin)	Basses Russell Field Mark Johnson Hammer Matt Cook

	Jacob Boehm '11 Jacob can be summed up in one simple Haiku: Ma'am, please move you cat It smells real bad, up in here I need more syllab-!
	Alex Brown '10 Alex is a man of great prowess. At the age of three, he was kidnapped by wild animals from his backyard into the surrounding, stereotypically Oregonian, forest area. By the age of 12, he had learned the call of the wild. He had also developed a penchant for tackling small deer. Now, like Mowgli from the Jungle Book, Alex has been unleashed into the world of man. As long as he keeps his promise never again to eat raw penguin, Fleet Street will let Alex stay this year.
	Adam Cole '09 If Adam had but one breath remaining, he would use it to discover how Teflon sticks to the pan.
	Matt Cook '11 God may have created Jesus before Matt Cook-but then, He always creates a rough draft before the final masterpiece.
	Russell Field '10 At the age of 8 Russell accompanied his parents to the bleak and wintry lands of Antarctica to investigate the phenomenon of "global warming." One day while walking across the frozen desert, he suddenly found himself cast adrift into the stormy seas and marooned on a floating sheet of ice. He shouted for help for hours and hours, but to no avail. Resigned to his tragic fate, he began to sing a lullaby so that he might sing himself to sleep and meet his end in peace. The song was, of course, "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Just as he was about to drift off into eternal slumber, he was saved by a group of penguins attracted by the melodious sound of his voice. They brought him back to the mainland, and raised him as one of their own. However, his prolonged exposure to the cold had transformed his voice forever, accelerating his transition to puberty and lowering his voice beyond the normal range of human hearing. He has since rejoined the ranks of society and been reunited with his parents, but in appreciation of the penguins that saved him he has agreed to replace Morgan Freeman as narrator in "March of the Penguins II: Attack of the Clones."
	Avery Halfon '10 Punt (shhh...) At the all-too-impressionable age of 5, Avery's parents pledged his body to the future of science. Now, part man, part machine, and possibly part woman, Avery's ability to mix drinks in his mouth instills desire in the hearts and loins of women across the globe.
	Stephen Hayes '10 Business Manager Stephen was born the son of peasant farmers, but quickly distinguished himself as destined for much much more. Working as a stableboy at the nearby castle, Stephen was mucking the stables one day when, sweaty and knee-deep in filth, he caught the eye of the princess. It was love at first sight. Theirs was a quiet, tender romance, for they knew that should the king discover their illicit affair, he would castrate Stephen faster than you can say "that's why he sings falsetto so well". One day, the princess could take it no longer and made Stephen promise to run away with her. Within the week, they had packed their bags and escaped. They made their way from town to town, Stephen singing for their supper. After a year and a half, they happened upon a tavern where a group of traveling minstrels, the Fleet Street Singers, were supping. After hearing Stephen's dulcet tones, they immediately invited him and his fair lady to join them in their wanderings. And so Stephen and the princess joined the band of performers, where he has continued to impress all those they entertain with his dazzling range and charming good looks. Note for all you ladies: There is no princess in Stephen's life, but he'd like to be your stableboy. Come see him after the show.
	Mark Johnson-Hammer '11 "If you were raised by a colony of ants," said Thoraxona Antala, "You might be able to communicate with far-off planets using your coccyx, too." The story of Mark Johnson-Hammer is not an unusual one. After all, many a young far-off planet coccyx communicator got his start from a generous ant colony. "We saw a lot of coccyx communication potential in him," continued Thoraxona--one of Mark's one million and three siblings. Mark became an orphan at the age of three when his parents were tragically smoldered to death in the meteor shower of 1812. He wandered the cold, dark streets of Detroit as a street performer until finally a colony of ants took him in, teaching him the ancient and salacious art of coccyx communication. Now he sings.
	Sam Julian '10 Sam has been called many things in his time. And yet, he is a man of few words. The irony of this is utterly lost on him. Also, would you like a kumquat?
	Chris Kucharczyk '11 Chris prefers chunky Jif.
	Julian Kusnadi '11 Once a petty rickshaw salesman, Julian has pulled himself up by his own bootstraps. Nearly two decades ago, he was a simpleton working the fields, but now, he's a true Hollywood celebrity. Expect to see him in this summer's most anticipated blockbuster, Karate Kid V: The Triple-Edged Sword.
	Mattias "Mattress" Lanas '10 Triple quilted and extra absorbent, Mattias can help give you a shower fresh feeling any time of day. Mattias also comes in a conveniently resealable package for freshness on the go! With Mattias, you can use LESS than the leading value brand, but it feels so good you'll want to use MORE. Mattias is softness, strength, and value all rolled into one, affordably priced to fit most budgets!
	Linden Melvin '11 Linden likes to sing a lot. and he loves vanilla anything. He has always wanted to be in fleet street. This is his dream come true. He loves talking about philosophical stuff and likes sleeping on the cold side of the pillow. He likes doing standing back tucks and hopes to one day make millions being a plastic surgeon.
	Alex "Phalex" Nourishad '09 Director When he was thirteen, Alex accidentally killed a man by unleashing the sheer power of his singing voice. Fleet Street, realizing his potential, quickly enrolled him and now uses him to strategically take out members of rival singing groups. He is currently teaching the other leads the deadly art of belt.
	Scott Seki '10 Webpenguin A former Sumo Champion, Scott has since dedicated himself to a life of song.
	Todd "Tod" Yecies '10 A stitch in time saves nine, but Todd, not to be outdone, has saved ten.

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