Part: Bass
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
Year: Class of 2023
Major: Undeclared
Dani is a big believer in the healing and restorative powers of arts and crafts. Last week, he showed the group how to make origami cranes. Thanks for your help, Dani!
Part: Bari
Hometown: Fairburn, GA
Year: Class of 2024
Major: Undeclared
DeAndre has the exceptional ability of going to sleep at 6 AM, waking up at 2PM, and subsequently missing every class. For some period of time, his only form of communication was referring to popular and not-so-popular memes, vines, and short, yet iconic videos, courtesy of YouTube. Now, his only personality traits are caffeine addiction, singing at ungodly hours of the night, and a vague interest in pOliTiCs.
Part: Top
Hometown: Indeterminate
Year: Class of 2024
Major: Undeclared
Kalyan may have been born inside of a simulation—most likely Euro Truck Simulator 2. Despite this fact, his truck-driving ability is actually far below par compared with the rest of the group. Kalyan was also a member of a small Lo-Fi indie rock group called "The Beatles," but that is no replacement for being able to drive a truck.
Part: Bari
Hometown: New Canaan, CT
Year: Class of 2024
Major: ToBeDeclared
Why did Jamie cross the road? To fleet (flee by feet) the street. Bedazzled and ready for action, this cowboy chicken — cow-chicken? — is thrilled to join the performing penguins and sing his bari tones.
Part: Lead
Hometown: Charlotte, NC
Year: Class of 2022
Major: Undeclared
Growing up, Aman didn't have much choice in what activities he participated in. His last name, quite literally, contains the word sing. As such, Aman likes to emit sound about his mouth.
A man, a plan, Aman.
Part: Bass
Hometown: Austin, TX
Year: Class of 2023
Major: Undeclared
Hi! I'm Chinmaya! Or Chinmaybe.
Part: Lead
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
Year: Class of 2023
Major: Smooth Jazz
A man of few words, Charlie.
Part: Lead
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
Year: Class of 2021
Major: Mechanical Engineering
A door-to-door door salesman by trade, Tristan is known to be one of the coolest members of Fleet Street by body temperature, clocking in at around 16 degrees Kelvin. Asked whether he would someday retire from selling doors, Tristan replied "I'll stop peddling my wares when doors are made fully obsolete by the popularization of the bidet, most likely around 2039." Tristan asks for all marital proposals to be sent to his home address at -50.607058, 165.974404.
Part: Bari
Hometown: Atlanta, GA
Year: Class of 2023
Major: Undeclared
Back in '09, Grant was in juvenile prison, and was the designated dish boy. Grant Dishko, they called him.
One fateful day, Grant stumbled upon an unsanctioned party in his cell block, and since that day, he has been known as Grant the Disco Dishko Bishko.
Financial Officer
Part: Bass
Hometown: Walnut Creek, CA
Year: Class of 2023
Major: Undeclared
Chris can often be spotted wandering the Forest Moon of Endor, attempting to find his true spirit animals: Ewoks. In his spare time, Chris likes to eat, sleep, listen to music, and contemplate the reason for his existence. After years of deep meditation while listening to Pet Sounds and Sgt. Pepper on loop, Chris has concluded that his reason for existence is to partake in the joys of eating, sleeping, and music. Chris lives by the motto, "livin' like Larry" (from Season 6, Episode 106A of the world-renowned and critically acclaimed anime, SpongeBob SquarePants).
Part: Top
Hometown: Los Alto Hills, CA
Year: Class of 2023
Major: Undeclared
Legend has it that Jay was in an elite poker ring in high school, playing 3 hours a day for over a year in order to save up to pay for college.
Business Manager
Part: Lead
Hometown: Bloomington, MN
Year: Class of 2021
Major: Mathemagicks
Sometimes business can get a little messy. "Messy" is Connor's middle name. It's actually "Robert," but the picture speaks for itself.
Part: Lead
Hometown: Paris, France
Year: Class of 2023
Major: Undeclared
When asked what they like about Iskander, aside from his incredible style and contagious smile, most mention his candor. Or are they just saying "Iskander?"...
Music Director
Part: Castrato
Hometown: Staten Island, NY
Year: Class of 2038, M.S. '22
Major: CS
No one is quite sure as to what lapse of administrative judgement placed an toddler at the helm of this once-fine organization, but the group appears to be rolling with the punches.
"Meetings can be a challenge," says Business Manager Connor, as he rubs his eyes. He's not potty trained, so meetings can be a real s***show. The look in his eyes indicates that he means it literally.
"There's definitely been a lot more freedom so far," says normal group member Chinmaybe, as he dabs at a questionable brown substance on his left sleeve. "His laissez-faire style has really upped our mutual accountability, making productivity skyrocket. If you ask me, I think it's genius. Once this kid learns how to take a dump on his own, it'll be over for corporate America. "
